Every single day is a joy with our children and all of the obstacles this weekend with Ford and Hayden just continued to prove that. This weekend with our preemie boys was also proof that God has his hands on our little ones protecting them.
It is hard for Trey and I to break away from the hospital... even for a moment, but Friday we decided to go out for a bite to eat with his parents... when we were done... we headed for the hospital. We found our little Ford having a rough night... his lungs were not working efficiently thus he needed 100% oxygen help when he had only been needing about 40-60% Oxygen support. Of course the doctor tried to reassure us that this is a frustrating and scary part of their chronic lung disease, but I was scared to death and unable to tear myself away from the hospital.
Our nurse taking care of Hayden told us what a good night he was having and had us come over and help change his bed. He was looking better, having great blood gases and was flashing his gorgeous blue eyes at us. I think he even smiled at us. His good night really helped us as we were dealing with a tough night with his brother Ford. Finally after Ford made some progress... we left at 4AM for out temporary home in Fort Worth.
Then... on Saturday, Hayden starting acting NOT right. His Oxygen saturation starting dropping off to dangerous levels and his other vitals were also in a scary range. I will spare me and you of all of the scary details, but the nurses and doctors were having to watch him very closely because they were thinking he was having bronchial spasms which was making him work against the ventilator. I cannot explain to you how scared this mommy was... still is. I just started walking around praying to God. I couldn't think of anything fancy or eloquent to say except, Lord please take care of my Hayden... please keep him with us." As the night wore on... the spasms became less drastic, but I could NOT be torn from the hospital. Oh, did I mention Ford was having issues as well... his oxygenation was also in the scary range... Again, I did the only thing I could do and that was to pray... asking God to heal my twin boys' lungs against all the medical odds. I know every parent wishes this, but I asked for God to heal them quickly as to defy all of the odds of science... "All things are possible to those who believe." That is all I could think of.
I was so scared last night... I just couldn't bring myself to leave the hospital. I took a nap on a bench... Trey took one on the floor. My mom, the boy's wonderful Gram, took a nap in a chair at Ford's bedside. Finally, Suzanne the charge nurse came and found us and took us to the place where families bunk with their babies the night before they go home. She gave us a bed since we didn't want to leave our little miracles, Ford and Hayden. Finally at 10 am this morning we came home and rested... the best we could.
After a lunch with our family, including Bill and Janet (Trey's parents), Hillary and Holland (the boys' aunts) and my mom... we went to check on Ford and Hayden. They were having a better day... and you know, it was not a perfect day, but it was better and that is a blessing and something I thank the Lord for tonight. I love these little boys so much. They bring me such joy... I can smell their scent even when they are not around... I see their faces in my every thought... and I worry about them when I can't be with them, but I refuse to believe anything else except that they will come home with us in the months to come. It is hard to see it right now, but they have to be with me for the rest of my life... I need them so very much... we all do.
I also want to say I could not do any of this without my husband, Trey. He is my strength and my positive reinforcement when I get worried about Hayden and Ford's health. He keeps me sane and stays at the hospital with me when I am too scared to tear myself away from our precious little miracle sons. I hope everyone is as lucky as I am to have support and love in their lives like that. I can't wait to witness all of his Daddy moments with our boys... that will be one of my greatest joys in my life.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a great week to come.
Thanks for your prayers and please, if I can be so bold to ask you, to continue your prayers to God for our sons, Ford and Hayden and their recovery from being preemies with lung disease.
Dana, proud mommy to Ford and Hayden and the wife of my wonderful, Trey